It's been over two months since I posted last. The perfectionist in me wants to delete everything I've done and start over so as not to have that big chunk of empty time taking up space but the spirit in me says that that is not an honest portrayal of the this process and what I am trying to communicate. I may not have written when I intended to or even when I wanted to but struggled to find the time but that does not mean that the pursuit of my creative dreams has been at a standstill.
Fear can be a very sneaky and debilitating thing at times. Fear and overcoming fear almost always plays a huge part in the creative process. When I think back to times when I meant to update this blog, I think it may have been (or should I just say it was) fear of speaking of my hopes and dreams that held me back. After all, if I shared them and my experience didn't live up to my expectations, would I then be seen as a failure? Would I then have to struggle through disappointment and embarassment? When I see this in writing, I realize that I essentially am saying that I am afraid of myself and my own thoughts and well, that just seems silly. Fear loves to live inside our heads and when we are able to get past it and open the door to let it out, it has a funny way of dissolving into thin air and that is what this is really all about.
I read something yesterday that made me think. It was about having to 'live through the struggle in order to learn how not to struggle'. Makes sense, right?
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